What if being the “slowest” in the class could actually make you the deepest thinker in the room?
I’ve seen this happen time and again. A student sits quietly whilst others call out answers. They take longer to work through problems. They ask more questions. And often, teachers or parents start to worry. But here’s what I’ve learnt over two decades of teaching: taking time to think is not the same as struggling to understand.
In fact, some of the strongest mathematical minds work slowly on purpose. They refuse to move on until something truly makes sense. That’s not a weakness. That’s how real understanding develops.
Fast Doesn’t Mean Smart
Jo Boaler, a professor at Stanford, has spent years studying how students learn maths. Her research shows something important: maths growth happens when students make connections, not when they just memorise steps. Fast recall might help you pass a times table test, but it doesn’t build the kind of thinking you need for harder problems later on.
Many professional mathematicians describe themselves as slow thinkers. They sit with problems for hours, sometimes days. They draw diagrams. They try different approaches. They backtrack and start again. This isn’t because they’re stuck. It’s because they’re thinking deeply about how ideas fit together.
When we rush students through maths, we teach them that speed matters most. When we give them time, we teach them that understanding matters most. Those are two very different messages.
What ‘Slow’ Really Means
When a student takes longer to answer, it often means they’re doing more in their head. They might be:
- Checking whether their method makes sense
- Connecting the current problem to something they learned before
- Visualising what the numbers actually represent
- Considering whether there’s a clearer way to solve it
None of that is slow. That’s thoughtful. And thoughtful maths builds confidence that lasts, because it’s built on real understanding rather than memorised tricks.
I had a Year 9 student once who always finished last. Other students would groan when paired with him for group work. But when I looked at his processing, I noticed something. He never just wrote down answers. He drew little sketches. He labelled his steps. He wrote notes to himself about why he’d chosen a particular method.
His test scores were fine, but more importantly, he could explain his thinking clearly. When concepts got harder in Year 10 and 11, he didn’t struggle the way some of the “fast” students did. He already knew how to think through problems carefully. That early slowness had built something solid.
Shifting the Language at Home and School
The words we use around maths matter more than we realise. When a child hears “you’re too slow” repeatedly, they start to believe that speed is what matters. They start to rush. They skip steps. They guess rather than think. And then mistakes happen, which reinforces the idea that they’re “not good at maths.”
Here’s a simple shift that makes a real difference:
Replace “I’m too slow” with “I’m taking time to connect ideas.”
When you notice your child or student thinking carefully, name it as a strength:
- “I can see you’re really thinking that through.”
- “You’re being careful with your working. That’s smart.”
- “Take the time you need. There’s no rush.”
In the classroom, I sometimes write this on the board at the start of a lesson:
“Fast ≠ Smart. Slow ≠ Weak. Deep thinking needs space.”
It’s a small thing, but it gives students permission to slow down. And once they have that permission, the quality of their thinking improves.
Turning Waiting Into Learning
Next time your child hesitates over a problem, resist the urge to jump in with hints or hurry them along. Instead, ask a question that encourages them to think more deeply:
“What pattern do you notice?”
and initially they will just say I don’t know, so feel free to say, you are not sure, but I notice… or provide a prompt or question that is a little bit more obvious, followed with praise of – wow, you got that. Try to explain in your words or drawing/writing what you did.
This simple question does something powerful. It shifts their focus from “I don’t know the answer” to “What can I see here?” Patterns are everywhere in maths. Spotting them builds confidence and helps ideas stick.
Other good questions to try:
- “Does this remind you of anything we’ve done before?”
- “What would happen if we tried it a different way?”
- “Can you draw what this looks like?”
These questions turn hesitation into productive struggle, which is where real learning happens. It’s not about getting stuck. It’s about sitting with a problem long enough to understand it properly.
A Simple Activity to Try
Draw a number line between 0 and 1. Place these numbers on it: ½, ⅓, ¾, 0.2.
Take your time. Think about where each one sits. Which are closer together? Which surprised you?
This activity doesn’t need a timer. There’s no right speed. The goal is to notice relationships between numbers and see how they connect. Some students will place them quickly. Others will need to think it through more carefully. Both approaches are valuable.
Afterwards, ask yourself (or your child): “Where else in maths could a picture help me think more clearly?” or if they say they have no idea, ask them if they can identify any of those even if it is a picture or a sentence. A comment of three of them are fractions and the other one is a decimal, could be a very good response even if it is not the response you were expecting.
Visual thinking is one of the most powerful tools in maths, but it takes time. Drawings aren’t just for younger students or “easier” topics. Sketching ideas helps at every level, from fractions to calculus. But only if we give ourselves permission to slow down and do it.
What This Looks Like in Practice
I worked with a teenager recently who had convinced herself she was “bad at algebra.” She could follow the steps her teacher showed, but she didn’t understand why they worked. Everything felt disconnected and hard to remember.
We slowed right down. Instead of rushing through ten questions, we did three. But for each one, we drew what was happening. We talked through why each step made sense. We connected it to things she already understood, like balancing scales or fair sharing.
It felt slow at first. She was used to racing through worksheets. But after a few weeks, something shifted. She started explaining her reasoning without prompting. She spotted mistakes in her own working before I did. And most importantly, she stopped saying “I don’t get it” and started saying “Can I try this a different way?”
That’s what happens when students are allowed to think at their own pace. They start to trust their own understanding. And that trust is what carries them through harder maths later on.
The Long Game
Maths isn’t a race. It’s more like learning a language. You don’t become fluent by speaking as fast as possible. You become fluent by practising regularly, making connections, and giving yourself time to think before you respond.
Taking time now builds speed later, because the understanding is solid. Students who rush at the early stages often hit a wall when concepts get more abstract. Students who take their time at these early stages build thinking skills that serve them for years.
So if your child is “slow” at maths, ask yourself: are they slow, or are they thinking? Because those are two very different things.
At Square Roets Maths, we believe every student can develop strong mathematical thinking when given the right support and enough time. If your child needs a space where careful thinking is valued over speed, book a free consultation to discuss how we can help.
Your Next Steps
- Notice the language you use. Pay attention to whether you’re praising speed or praising thinking. Small shifts in language create big changes in confidence.
- Ask better questions. Instead of “Are you done yet?” try “What are you noticing?” or “What makes sense so far?”
- Give time without guilt. Let your child know it’s okay to take as long as they need. Thinking carefully isn’t the same as being stuck.
- Try the number line activity together. See what patterns you both notice. Talk about it. There’s no hurry.
- Celebrate slow thinking. When you see your child working carefully, name it as a strength. “I can see you’re really thinking about this. That’s exactly what good mathematicians do.”
Deep thinking builds confident learners. And confident learners become capable mathematicians, no matter how long they take to get there.
About Ilse Roets
Ilse Roets is the founder of Square Roets Maths and a passionate advocate for lifelong learning. With over two decades of experience in maths education, she has supported hundreds of students in rebuilding confidence and overcoming maths anxiety through personalised, thoughtful teaching. As a dyslexic educator and lifelong learner, Ilse brings empathy, insight, and practical strategies to every child she works with.
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